Do you know what, Love Actually isn’t all around and you can stick your Elf Yourself video up your bottom.
December birthdays are a little bit awful, being born within the Christmas month means you’re lost amongst the Christmas cheer and the ‘is it too early?’ discussion – by the way if your birthday is before Christmas then the answer is yes.
1. People are hesitant to go out. It’s your birthday so you’ll want to go out and spend money on some kind of fun. But then arrives the excuses; someone is doing their second Christmas; others overdid it on the mulled wine; your friends need to ‘save themselves’ to do Christmas properly; another let-down doesn’t want to go out for drinks, in preparation for their new years resolution, that they’ll soon fail when their lovely summer birthday arrives or it’s someones bloody work party. And my personal favourite: “I have no money, we spent so much on presents this year!” MY BIRTHDAY HAS BEEN ON THE SAME DAY EVERY YEAR, YOU WANKER. P.S don’t you dare suggest going to Winter Wonderland on my birthday, bitch.
2. Everyone talks about Christmas whilst you’re trying to be excited for your birthday. Oh, you can’t wait for Christmas, can you? Don’t mind me whilst I tangle myself in these fairy-lights whilst bitterly giggling at the Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special.
3. Everyone always asks if you ‘mind’ having your birthday in December. Well I didn’t really get a choice but I lie anyway to make it clear that Christmas, New Years Eve and my birthday are three entirely separate events, that you should all be equally excited about – OKAY?
4. It’s bloody cold. Everyone is a bit ill and their summer-selves have hibernated into a cocoon of hot-chocolate and snotty tissues. If you go out clubbing you enter the antarctic after leaving and everyone’s energy is just generally lower. YAY, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY *sneeze, cough, cry.*
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