Five reasons why the Brangelina divorce is great

…not for the pair themselves but for nearly every other human tweeting a Jennifer Aniston meme.

Who knew Sept 20 was National Jennifer Aniston Meme Day? #brangelina #TeamJen pic.twitter.com/sH21D3PK7L

— Jennifer Gaonach (@JenGaonach) September 20, 2016

The ‘BrexPitt’ was announced on Tuesday Afternoon. The hugely admired couple had filed for divorce for reasons described by Jolie as “for the health of the family”. The marriage only lasted two years but everyone seems to be having a meltdown – because we all know Jolie and Pitt so well, right?

But no, the sadness of what simply is a woman divorcing a man, a few lessons can be learnt here.

And here’s why their break-up is great, to teach the following lessons:

1. Women, you can’t just be nice to girls in toilet bathrooms. One woman’s pain, is not another woman’s joy. Perfectly described by Elle. A large amount of the focus has been on Jennifer Aniston jumping for joy over the filed divorce – without her actually commenting at all may I add. This promotes female-to-female hate, women need to stick together, not encourage each other to have a giggle when their ex splits from their new wife, it’s not nice. I don’t dispute the memes are funny but there are lessons to be learnt in the bigger picture and promoting girl-on-girl hate is not one of them.

2. Destroying the ridiculous ‘relationship goals’, no one and especially Tumblr knows what their relationship was like, only Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt know the details of their married life. Hopefully the infamous Brangelina will show people that their couple aspirations are nothing like what they imagine. Aiming to be like another couple is ridiculous, everyone is different, therefore every couple is different. My ideal relationship would most probably be someone I can get horrendously drunk with, pretend I can dance then return home to watch a Louis Theroux documentary and eat 20 chicken nuggets. But someone else may wish to go and do crazy sports together, travel the world, make scrapbooks and mix-tapes together. Either way, people need to stop looking to couples in the public eye for ‘relationship goals’ and focus on what makes them, as a singular person, happy.

Annoying advice people love to give

Life is full of clichés (I think that’s one in itself) and advice but a lot of it is, well, shit. My favourite cliché is ‘don’t regret what once made you happy’ and I agree with this with almost all of my heart because regret doesn’t get you anywhere and happiness does. But people need to stop saying it after every mistake you make or you’ll be a big mess crying in your bikini saying “well that 20 nuggets share box made me happy last week.” *cries and uploads scenery picture instead to Instagram*

Irritating and mostly useless advice:

“He’s being mean because he likes you” – this very advice is why women have a thing for horrible men. You’ll probably get told this in primary school, so encourage your daughter just to throat-punch* boys that are mean to her, not assume that he likes her. Take this advice right into adulthood, if he’s mean to you then he’s just a dick, he doesn’t fancy you. But if he BANTERS with you, then marry him, obviously.

*just a joke, I do not condone the encouragement of throat punching (in general).

“Just be yourself” – WELL, myself is the same person that is unemployed, single and a little bit dim. Never be afraid to be yourself, yourself is the best kind of self but in some situations, be less yourself, just a tiny bit. Like in a job interview, you may be full of banter but save that for the work party once you get the job.

“Think of the money” – the universal saying for ‘your job is shit’. Quite frankly, thinking of the money is actually a terrible idea because it’s quite depressing to realise you’ve worked a full day that’ll transfer into a Nandos and a packet of skittles.