Annoying advice people love to give

Life is full of clichés (I think that’s one in itself) and advice but a lot of it is, well, shit. My favourite cliché is ‘don’t regret what once made you happy’ and I agree with this with almost all of my heart because regret doesn’t get you anywhere and happiness does. But people need to stop saying it after every mistake you make or you’ll be a big mess crying in your bikini saying “well that 20 nuggets share box made me happy last week.” *cries and uploads scenery picture instead to Instagram*

Irritating and mostly useless advice:

“He’s being mean because he likes you” – this very advice is why women have a thing for horrible men. You’ll probably get told this in primary school, so encourage your daughter just to throat-punch* boys that are mean to her, not assume that he likes her. Take this advice right into adulthood, if he’s mean to you then he’s just a dick, he doesn’t fancy you. But if he BANTERS with you, then marry him, obviously.

*just a joke, I do not condone the encouragement of throat punching (in general).

“Just be yourself” – WELL, myself is the same person that is unemployed, single and a little bit dim. Never be afraid to be yourself, yourself is the best kind of self but in some situations, be less yourself, just a tiny bit. Like in a job interview, you may be full of banter but save that for the work party once you get the job.

“Think of the money” – the universal saying for ‘your job is shit’. Quite frankly, thinking of the money is actually a terrible idea because it’s quite depressing to realise you’ve worked a full day that’ll transfer into a Nandos and a packet of skittles.