The Lookbook of the lazy

If you want outfit inspiration then look past Fashion Week and focus on your next door neighbours taking the bins out, they are the true Prada Princesses. The appearance of the average human is the most underrated, yet it’s so easy to achieve, here are the looks that are too powerful for the runway:

The everything-is-in-the-wash-so-this-happened

Lazy yet lovely

This look is all about not even thinking, if it feels comfortable and is just an arm reach away, it works. The only thing required for this outfit is a quick sniff-test, if it smells okay, then it looks okay too. Perfect for when you just cannot be arsed.

The less-is-more

Less shoes, less problems

It’s a myth that fashion is all about the latest trends, being fashionable is about being original and steering away from the mainstream looks. In order to be as fashionable as possible, have a look what everyone is doing and do it completely differently. Everybody wears two shoes, you wear one, that’s hipster.

The I’m-praying-that-I-don’t-bump-into-anyone

Yellow is so hard to pull off but no one says you actually have to

There’s an outfit for every activity, Vogue and Cosmo will have you covered on what to wear to all the Summer weddings, but what about the perfect outfit for going to the corner shop? The look needed to run and get a bottle of milk is an absolute industry secret. But it’s so simple, just wear the clothes you rush towards when you’re feeling sad. And to really pull off the I’m-praying-that-I-don’t-bump-into-anyone, the volume of material is key, you don’t want anyone to be aware that you have an actual body under the baggy material, mystery is sexy.

The Hazard

A dangerous look 

Fashion inspiration can be found just about anywhere, even on wet floor surfaces. It’s important to open your mind and take advantage of all opportunities that the fashion-Gods supply to us. A look that says hazard doesn’t only keep you safe but it warns others of your beauty too.

The PLAAAYAA-protection

“It’s just casual”

It’s a modern day issue for players everywhere to be tagged in a photo with a girl. Of course it was casual but you don’t let them know that and you certainly don’t want the others finding out. It’s an effortless look for all lazy guys out there. Not only can you seem like the comical #lad with this look but it offers the utmost protection for the 500 potentials in your Whatsapps. Just wear a mask, cover the whole face, protect your lad-hood.

The accidental-sleepover

Save money on an Uber by only making one stop and trade with your dignity in the morning. Some call it the dress code for the “walk of shame”, the outfit that says you borrowed some clothes and you didn’t share the same shoe size as their sister. But no, you’re wrong. This is the new smart casual. This outfit offers a light airy feel with added height, perfect for any occasion and gets people talking for a variety of reasons.

The portable-pillow

“Hairdressers hate me” – Brenda Zini

It’s not only your clothes that completes an outfit but it’s your whole appearance. If you’re blessed with curls then brush the fuck out of it and you’ve got yourself a pillow too. All the other girls with straight glossy hair think they’ve got it going on but you’ll be the one safe from any attack to the head.

The affordable-rain-mac

Trashy is the new classy people

It’s difficult to stay on top of the latest trends and your bank balance doesn’t always support your shopping basket, so it’s important to remain creative. The bin-bag is an upcoming trend that is not only slimming for its jet black colour but also offers protection from the rain. This outfit can be stored away in your clutch bag and brought out to spice up any outfit. Fashion has never been so affordable.

The I-hate-greeting-people

A handful worth handling

The perfect party outfit takes a while to master but the success to every outfit is often the accessories. The very best accessories are cups –full of tequila– doubling up is absolutely vital. Not only do you save time going to the bar and give off a look the says you’re here to stay but there are many other added benefits. Outings tend to be filled with people you’re not so sure about or don’t want to greet. Bump into someone you haven’t seen in five years? See a guy you’re not sure whether to hug or not? Fear not, you are literally incapable of any normal greeting, including a dorky wave you’ll live to regret every night for the next two years, because your hands are full! Double up on cups, pull off the I-hate-greeting-people and minimise mistakes.

We are all fashion icons.

How to be the cool girl

The cool girl is not the one that snorts when she laughs, trips over literal air, worries her partner doesn’t like her anymore and doesn’t know the capital’s of each country.

Despite the female population’s elaborate education in Legally Blonde and Bridget Jones – these are not the cool girls these are the ditzy fun-loving blondes. The girl that all your friends encourage you to be and the girl you think prospective partners may want is the Jamie (Mila Kunis) in Friends with Benefits. This is the girl with typically male-orientated interests but is super hot.

It’s all good and well being told to ‘be the cool girl’ but when you’re done making a dick out of yourself and stressing out over an awful social situation, you sit and wonder, what is the cool girl? How do I do it? Is there a string of twat-fighting antibiotics I can consume to remove my non-cool ambience? Well, no there’s not and I am also sure if the world isn’t already antibiotic resistant then they certainly would be if it started making you more cool. Instead follow my eight easy -T’s and C’s may comply- steps:

Eat loads of food

The cool girl can tackle a burger like it’s part of her daily routine. There’s no worrying about looking sophisticated or ordering something fancy. You order the biggest meal possible and you eat all of it. Sounds FUN being the cool girl, right?

Further instructions: somehow and someway you have to eat all this food but be skinny as fuck. It’s only cool if you’re Harry Potter and can perform a spell that enables you to eat 2000 calories but only look 2 calories.

Drink beer

 

 

 

 

 

The cool girl will step away from the Pornstar Martini’s and over-boomeranged Proseccos. The cool girl will be having a beer. A beer says: “I don’t care what you think, I am the cool girl, piss off”.

Further instructions: you cannot actually get drunk. Do you think the cool girl is standing on tables and screaming at the DJ to put Dancing On The Moonlight on? No. You have to sit there slowly drinking your cold beer with your sunglasses on your head and smile.

Like sports and have knowledge about it

 

 

 

 

Rugby and football are popular choices here. Support a team and actually know the rules, the players and all the terminology. The cool girl vibe is all about screaming for your team whilst maintaining your glossy hair and taking pleasure in knowing the off-side rule.

Further instructions: it isn’t actually a strictly cool-girl activity to like sports but the more you know, the cooler you are. In this cruel world if you are a girl you have to prove yourself like an overprotective Skater with people wearing Thrasher just for FASHUN. You can’t just watch the games, you have to know everything because the cockiest people will seek you out and test you, even if your interest is only light.

Be intellectually passionate about something (something very weirdly particular)

A love for First Dates and Cat Cafés do not qualify here.  Be stimulated by global warming or a band that nearly no one has heard of but you have five vinyls of their ‘best’ singles.

Further instructions: you have to share articles about your interests and wear merchandise from your random band to show true devotion or your just another Thrasher poser to the rest of the uncool world.

Let people treat you badly

If someone you’re interested in cheats on you or is genuinely just making you feel like a little speckle of mud then you do nothing. THE COOL GIRL DOESN’T CARE. The cool girl shall flick her hair and find the next best console game instead.

Further instructions: if you do care, you can still be cool as long as you do not show it.

Be really difficult to get into contact with

You are the Beyoncé of social media and only the elite get accepted on Facebook and followed back on Twitter. You don’t reply to texts, phone calls, morse code, pigeon letters or even in conversation. The time of a cool girl is so valuable and everyone else lacks in all value in comparison.

Further instructions: even if you really like someone, you ignore them maybe until they die and don’t even attend their funeral because you are cool.

Have a cool name

If you were the kid in primary school that had to be given a nickname or their surname was constantly repeated because there were ten if you in the class, you aren’t cool. The most unusual and peculiar name wins.

Further instructions: if you were born with an uncool name, only the dedicated cool people would change it.

Be super hot

 

 

 

 

 

The biggest condition to all the prior steps is that NONE of them matter unless you have the face and body of a goddess.

Further instructions: find a way to filter yourself in real life and you’ve got this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you are the ‘cool girl’ then great. If you are a bit of twat, great. If you are somewhere in-between then also great. But the pressure to be a certain type of person is stupid and unhealthy, especially when it’s so appearance-orientated. It’s like the ridiculous statement that many girls tend to say about loving ‘nerds’. You could find the smartest guy in the world but if he doesn’t look like the current Calvin Klein model in glasses, suddenly they’re not into ‘nerds’ anymore. And if you want to hype up ‘gamer-girls’ then you have to hype up the size 6 and the size 16 ‘gamer-girls’.

What single people should do on Valentine’s Day

So it’s February 14th and the sight of instagram makes the taste of lemons feel less bitter.

Valentine’s Day isn’t supposed to be for single people, so they say. But they also tell you not to take in your own food into the cinema and I have quite literally poured milk into my cereal at a cinema, rules are made to be broken my friends and I got quite the thrill.

So, a big fuck off to anyone who says a single person can’t have a Valentine’s Day because I’m going to tell you just how it’s done.

EAT ALL THE FOOD

Yeah sure your best mate will be dining with their fit girlfriend/boyfriend but we all know they’re super paranoid about their food babies because red lingerie wasn’t quite made to wrap around digested steak. But for us? Who cares, just me, myself and I seeing this body, sprinkle the shit out of that parmesan on my plate, waiter.

POST PICTURES OF YOURSELF

It’s so much easier to coordinate a selfie with just you, you know your angles, there will be no fights when someone is looking considerably worse because it’s just you. Use your favourite filter, plaster it everywhere, print it out, get a canvas because you will be with you forever, so cherish your pretty face.

AVOID CHECKING UP ON EX’S SOCIAL MEDIA

So many people search through the social media of an ex and it’s pretty much like cyber-bullying yourself. What good can actually come out of it? It only makes you sad and even sadder when they’re with someone new, so just avoid it all together. When my Dad’s football team lose, he doesn’t watch the highlights on Match of The Day, it does the man no good. So apply the same logic, don’t look and begin the other half of the M&S dine for two meal.

DO SOMETHING FUN

Whether getting considerably drunk or playing FIFA all night is your thing then go for it. There’s usually some pretty cool anti-Valentine’s events and everyone has got at least one single mate. Crying isn’t an enjoyable activity – unless you’re a hipster, maybe- and you don’t actually need someone to love you to have fun. Sure, it’s fabulous to feel loved and wanted but the truth of the matter is, no one does right now, SO SUCK IT UP. Find fun elsewhere because people like fun people not crying people – unless again the hipster thing.

But if you are going to go out, avoid highly couple friendly places

Valentine’s Day really is just a day to single people, so don’t be making your way to all the lovely restaurants, art galleries, theaters, cinemas, performances – I guess options are very limited. Otherwise you end up very aware that you aren’t with anyone, it shouldn’t make you sad but it does make you feel awkward.

Don’t tweet or write Facebook status’ about how you’re forever alone

And don’t post a somewhat creepy picture of an attractive couple saying ‘this please’ post a picture of your pet for comical value but none of that other stuff.  It makes you look like a bit of a weirdo, even if that’s how you feel, you tell that to your taxi driver as you wipe the cheesy chips off the side of your mouth at 4am, not your 500+ Facebook friends.

BUY YOURSELF A PRESENT

Wow there really is nothing you could love more than a reason to justify a present to yourself. You’re just spending the money on yourself that you would have on someone else. Nothing more sentimental than a gift to yourself where you can think “ahhh no one loves me but I think I am wonderful, thanks me”.

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF VALENTINES DAY DEALS

Chocolate and teddy bears are so cheap. The M&S dine for two is to die for, for £20 you get a starter, main, side, dessert, chocolates and wine or prosecco. ‘for two’ is a subjective phrase, don’t worry, the you now and the you later, equals two. You get an even better deal when you don’t even have to share, who’s the real winner here?

So there you have it, a single person can have a Valentine’s day.

…and you can also claim a free six-inch sandwich at Subway when you buy a large drink, so we are all winners today.

Stop making excuses on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day got its name from St Valentine, a man who was jailed and sentenced to death for arranging marriages in secret when they had been banned by Emperor Claudius.

St Valentine then fell in love with the jailer’s daughter and on the day of his death sentence, February 14^th, he sent her a love letter signed “from your Valentine” – much sweeter than a super-like on Tinder or an eyelash flutter at a bar.

If you’re bitter about a day literally all about love, you need to have a think. Or if it’s your other half, then be sure to banish all the classic Valentine’s Day excuses like the ones listed below.

“I love them everyday.” But do you show it? This excuse is only valid if this person is so romantic that they’re Love Lock Bridge, guitar-serenading and kissing in the rain all rolled into one. But February 14^th is just one day -and night- to be a little bit romantic and show someone that you care. Of course you should love everyday but Valentine’s Day is a reminder to say “I choose you” like a loved-up Ash to Pikachu.

“It’s so busy!” It doesn’t really matter if you dine at Sketch in London or you stay in and demolish a slightly dodgy yet tasty take-away. It’s about doing something together, there’s no compulsory price tag or activity, do what fits you best as a couple. As Kevin Hart, voice of the people, said “Do you boo boo.”

“CAPITALISM!!!” Oh Karl Marx, shut your mouth and eat an overpriced heart shaped chocolate. Conforming may not be cool or edgy and giving into company pressures may not be at the forefront of your economic and philosophical mind. However, I think in the name of passion, a teddy and a cheesy card, you can let this go for 24 hours.

“Why give someone flowers when they’re just going to die?” You don’t necessarily have to buy someone flowers on Valentine’s Day but if you don’t, don’t let that be your reasoning. This is the very worst excuse, because guess what? Everything dies, including you. Pretty coloured flowers are just cute and that’s all that needs to be said about the matter, there is no life span that can abolish the vision of beauty.

St Valentine had unbelievable charm the day he was forced to die, so what’s your excuse?

 

 

 

Originally written for The Quintin Hogg 

Things to remember about your New Year’s Resolution

January is shit. Most of us have been a little chubby for the whole of last year and drank so much that we question if it’s binge-drinking or pending alcoholism. And suddenly at this time of the month we’re supposed to be very aware.

There’s a few things to bare in mind when you’re setting yourself a new year’s resolution and if you haven’t got one, you’re already fabulous so it’s all about maintenance.

One bowl of muesli and a smile to a bitch you hate doesn’t reform you into a whole new human. Make your resolutions worthwhile, something you’ll be determined to drive forward, not one week of temporary good deeds.

Don’t make your new year’s resolution everyone else’s too. There’s nothing more bloody annoying than people who take you on their diet too. Sorry mate but you paid your Slimming World subscription for ONE person, let me eat this block of cheese in peace and you continue with your own plans.

But don’t let anyone make you feel bad about having a resolution. HAHA wow you’re so pathetic for wanting to be a better person!! There’s really nothing wrong with wanting to be less of a dick, so if you’re a dick, roll on those new year’s resolutions and be proud of the changes you’re making. If you have goals then go for it, hopefully your resolution will involve mentally (not physically) blocking out those people who tell you that your resolution is silly, no they are silly.

FATshion advice for Christmas

I’m sure you succeeded in the perfect work party outfit, excelled in the out-out outfit with your friends and you’re ready to kill it New Years Eve night.

But what about the pigs in blankets? And I’m talking about you on Boxing Day, not the pork.

Remember, life is all about perspective. Don’t feel guilty for eating a lot this Christmas, take a new turn on it and say “wow, what an impressive amount of food to consume, how proud am I” – replacing guilt for pride will change your dietary life.

However, sometimes all this pride leads to a lot of bloating which some don’t wish to flaunt, so our wardrobes need a little altering to address this situation.

I have compiled a short list of outfit ideas for those who eat their way through Christmas and are willing to compliment this season’s favourite accessory, the festive food baby.

The Virgin Mary costume. This is a great one for Christmas Day, you’ll look super festive and after wolfing down your Christmas dinner, you have the bump to complete the outfit!

A duvet. You already have a duvet and you’re bound to fall asleep to a Disney film. This is fashion that’s functional and affordable. It oozes material which will make you look six weeks pregnant instead of six months. This look works best laying down but can be altered as a wrap around, should you need to place another tube of Pringles between your body and the duvet.

Six reasons why dating is awful (sometimes)

Dating is a bizarre concept. You both fulfil a human function of eating or drinking with a person you don’t really know in the hope to spend more time with them and piss people off with your love on Instagram. Quite frankly, dating is a dire experience because as humans we are also equally dire, so two unrelated humans getting together is a social explosion.

Here’s six reasons why dating can -because it’s actually quite lovely- be awful:

You aren’t really yourself anyway. We will hold back on the jokes we make in case we offend them, we laugh at every joke to make them feel at ease and sometimes we don’t laugh as much as we want to, to avoid being mistaken for a horse. The problem is, your future partner is the one in which you will be making vile jokes to and laughing like a farm animal. So, if they don’t like your humour then you are saving time on a lot of shit dates. Let’s not leave the one waiting who will join you in hell for this humour.

The follow-up. It is obligatory to agree to see each other again or decide to be friends – and by friends this means a Facebook friend you will delete in the next two months. It’s incredibly awkward to tell someone you don’t like them for who they are because that’s just rude. There isn’t a right way to do it but you must be as kind as possible and try to save their dignity with poor excuses. Dating would be a lot easier if it worked like the follow-up of a job interview, “Dear applicant, unfortunately you were unsuccessful in receiving a second date. I am looking for someone who appreciates my alarmingly large appetite, worrying banter and does not look concerned at the suggestion of drinking shots to ease nerves. Kind Regards, a very bored person you dated.”

The modern era. Suddenly being ‘a good texter’ is important and things just get more complicated. I don’t expect to be swept off my feet or for someone to appear outside my window with a boombox but I’m also not after a ‘like’ on all my profile pictures for them to show some interest. Overall, dating in the younger generation is beyond a joke. “So, like what are you guys?”

Well, we are Facebook friends but I don’t follow them on Twitter but I definitely stalk their Twitter but I am not quite at the stage where I am obliged to like everything they post on Instagram and I guess we text most days and we’re Snapchat best-friends and we meet up on weekends and they’ve kind of met my family but we are definitively most definitely NOT in a relationship – but I would feel slightly cheated on if they kissed someone else, obviously.

You know everything about them already. You can deny it but you will have a little look at their Facebook and then you make small talk on the date pretending not to know they have two brothers and a love for some Facebook prankster. I strongly advise getting to know someone naturally like normal people did before the internet, it’s actually more fun.

The constant need to update people. Before a date you may be incredibly nervous so naturally you tell people about it to offload. But then this is always a regret “How did that date go with that guy/girl?!” – umm how am I supposed to say that I judged them due to their poor choice of football club?

So much of it is forced. A lot of the time dating takes place because people are desperate to be in a relationship. You can walk past Prezzo and see at least one pair -but definitely NOT a couple- conversing over pizza and praying it all goes well so they can smugly tell their family at Christmas that they’re not such a sad act. I admire those who go out and chase for what they want but in the world of relationships it’s always a bad idea. If you have to chase after someone, this means they’re running away. Take a casual stroll and hope to find the right person – or trip them up whilst they’re running. Dating is overall, a bit shit and very scary. But those who put themselves out there are still more likely to succeed in the dating game than those who don’t.

Final tips for all you potential daters out there: be the crude farm-animal that you truly are; handle the follow-up with kindness; take a course in texting; avoid Facebook stalking and get to know them for real; don’t tell too many people; and do not force it. And if it doesn’t work out, consider yourself as simply niche – a select taste but still absolutely bloody brilliant the right person, unless you’re sugar-free then you will be single forever.

How not to lose friends finding themselves

All ‘finding yourself’ and ‘vibes’ jokes aside, it’s a little tricky when your favourite people jet off to have the most amazing times of their lives whilst you’re sat at home.It feels like they’re friend-cheating on you, what do you do when your friends are making new friends, new memories with other people?

Be patient. Most travellers set off for around 3-6 months, it’s a long time. But you must be patient and remind yourself that they’re not leaving your friendship at the Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan – along with their tenth pair of flip-flops.

Take Notice. Praying to the hostel and phone signal Gods, your friends are likely to have the opportunity to post all their wonderful thought and photos on social media. Take notice of what they have to say, where they are and what they’re doing. It’s often forgotten that these people travelling actually miss you back (aww) and it’ll be nice for them to know you’re thinking of them and paying attention to their travels. And if you don’t then maybe they’ll start rating the companionship of elephants and koalas more than your good-self.

Keep in contact. Every now and again message your friends via text/skype/social media. It’s important to keep them up to date with your life too or you’ll be on a completely different page when they get back. It’s also important to ask what they’re doing and how they are, a little thought goes a long way. Even if it does feel like they’d be impossible to reach and have become the captain of a far-away boat or something.

Understand. Surprisingly, although it’s vital to keep in contact, it’s not that easy when your friends are exploring caves and going on wild adventures – whilst trying not to lose their phones amongst all this fun. You have to be empathetic and know that it is difficult to make contact sometimes and you shouldn’t hold that against them. Wi-Fi to someone travelling is just like discovering the internet all over again, you have to respect that.

Be happy. It’s completely understandable you’re going to be jealous of your friends, if it’s not of their tan and naturally highlighted hair then it’ll definitely be the experiences. But bitterness never made anything sweet and it definitely won’t aid a distanced relationship. Be happy for your friends or you can’t really call yourself a friend at all. You’re just as pleasant as a dodgy stomach from a new foreign delicacy, don’t give them another pain.

Listen. It’s a given your friends will talk LOADS about their travels, maybe repeat their stories once or twice. But it’s important you listen and take interest. This was an incredible part in their life and if you’re their true friend you should want to feel connected to their adventures. And besides if you decide to travel yourself, you can look beyond Trip Advisor.

There’s enough snakes where they’re going, don’t be one of them

Make a fuss. This applies to before they leave and when they come back. Wish them good luck and safety, try to say goodbye before they leave. You must also make an effort to see them upon their return, things may have completely changed around you but they’re returning to the same place they left several months ago, don’t make them feel any different. I mean, how would you feel returning to the UK to find out we now have a female Prime Minister and everyone is playing Pokémon and actually going outside again. It’s like waking up from an unscheduled nap, it’s very confusing, so don’t add to that confusion.

And for all those adventurers, don’t forget it’s a two-way street. Accept the fact they may be busy doing their own thing; take notice of what they’re up to as well; and don’t forget to keep in contact and make the effort when you get back. It’s the thought that makes the difference.

Even if you’re not as cute as a baby elephant, as mesmerising as a deep blue ocean or as beautiful as a swing in the sunset, you’re still their friend no matter where they are.

Written for The Adventure Gang

 

 

 

 

Annoying advice people love to give

Life is full of clichés (I think that’s one in itself) and advice but a lot of it is, well, shit. My favourite cliché is ‘don’t regret what once made you happy’ and I agree with this with almost all of my heart because regret doesn’t get you anywhere and happiness does. But people need to stop saying it after every mistake you make or you’ll be a big mess crying in your bikini saying “well that 20 nuggets share box made me happy last week.” *cries and uploads scenery picture instead to Instagram*

Irritating and mostly useless advice:

“He’s being mean because he likes you” – this very advice is why women have a thing for horrible men. You’ll probably get told this in primary school, so encourage your daughter just to throat-punch* boys that are mean to her, not assume that he likes her. Take this advice right into adulthood, if he’s mean to you then he’s just a dick, he doesn’t fancy you. But if he BANTERS with you, then marry him, obviously.

*just a joke, I do not condone the encouragement of throat punching (in general).

“Just be yourself” – WELL, myself is the same person that is unemployed, single and a little bit dim. Never be afraid to be yourself, yourself is the best kind of self but in some situations, be less yourself, just a tiny bit. Like in a job interview, you may be full of banter but save that for the work party once you get the job.

“Think of the money” – the universal saying for ‘your job is shit’. Quite frankly, thinking of the money is actually a terrible idea because it’s quite depressing to realise you’ve worked a full day that’ll transfer into a Nandos and a packet of skittles.

How to recover from post-night-out-anxiety

Sufferers of why-did-I-do-that syndrome will completely understand the agonising pain in your heart the day after a night out.

Occasionally, in the morning the toilet acts like a prominent hat as you throw up the contents of your stomach and hopefully a McDonalds, if you were lucky. Staring at yourself in that toilet water and you begin to think my mother held me in her womb for nine months and here I am, I’ll make you proud another day, sorry Mum.

BUT this way of thinking is not healthy, it dampens what probably was a bloody brilliant night and in all fairness if your Mum is a bit of a #lad, she will think it’s quite funny.

So, here are some tips on how to deal with yourself when you’re worrying about the night before:

“Omg you were so funny last night,” this is the kind of text that just sky rockets anxiety and you think of all the things you may have said to embarrass yourself- and even then the worst thing you said you’re probably unaware of. But realistically this is a compliment, your hilarity amused someone and made part of their night, so why would you let that ruin your day? You’re literally worrying about being funny, never apologise for a good bit of banter a wise woman once said (me).

Scrolls through texts and wants to shoot oneself. All in all, unless you’re texting your friend ‘you arw acthually my bestjfreind xxxx’, drunk texting is a bad idea. But 9/10 times you said something that you needed to but just didn’t have the courage for it. Definitely not the best method, so try and use that courage in a sober situation so you can actually make sense of it all and read what you/ they’re saying. And again DO NOT WORRY, humans make mistakes. So what you sent a text you shouldn’t have, you’re not going to die –unless you’re texting an actual murderer- and the other person may even be flattered that they’re on your mind five vodka and lemonades in, you are welcome unsuspecting recipient.