Food, glorious food, this song depicts truth that is both factual and emotional, talk about ‘swag’ and ‘baes’ all you like, songs about food are more relatable. However, all singing, sang and done, a foodie faces several daily problems #halfproblemsnotpuddings.
1. All you think about is food. You go to sleep thinking about breakfast, you eat breakfast thinking about lunch and you eat lunch thinking about dinner. And all this thinking makes you hungry.
2. It’s the reason you’re sad. You’re sad because you’re craving a food and even when you have the desired food, you’re sad again because you haven’t thought of a name for the food-baby.
3. Impatience at its best. You’re the kind of person that’ll need a snack for the agonising two minutes you wait for something that’s heating up in the microwave. Your second favourite question in the world is ‘when is dinner’ – the first being ‘what’s for dinner’, of course.
4. Enduring a lack of sympathy. It’s absolutely possible to be a complete bitch because you’re hungry. People who aren’t crazy about food don’t seem to understand you can NEED Haribos and you NEED 20 chicken nuggets. I hate the blatant ignorance of those people.
5. People misunderstand the ‘order for yourself’ rule. A love for food means you’re great at ordering and often this generates high levels of jealousy. ‘Ooo that looks nice’, yes my dear, that’s why I ordered it now keep your clammy hands off and tuck into your poor decision. 
6. Get off my plate rage. If you’re hungry get your own food, you dare pick at my plate and you’re on your way to a throat-punch.
7. Your love of food makes you intolerant. Loving food can have you hating people who don’t. A full night of drinking and your friend is adamant to get home before the drunk food gauge, nice knowing you ‘friend’. These people just don’t understand the sheer upset of missing out on food or a particular food not being available in the shop/menu.
8. Feeling full isn’t a good thing. To any normal person being full is a great, you have satisfied a human requirement. But no, there’s a Chinese takeaway right in front of you and you can’t eat anymore, do you know how much that hurts?
9. You can’t relax. You may have your favourite meal in front of you but your eyes are firmly stuck on the garlic bread and the potential option for round two. Any demon dares touch that piece of garlic bread you eyed-up will face the silent wrath for your love of food.
10. It gets emotional. Of course in the beginning it was great, you know what food is on the way, yeah you get excited. Then the food arrives, you lovingly eat it. But then it’s all over, it’s gone and that breaks my heart.
12. People don’t often grasp the way to my heart. Love is complicated but people don’t understand that saying “I love you” isn’t good enough. Those who care for you most care for your stomach too. “Have you eaten,” will sound just as good as “will you marry me?” People give you food in celebration, in sadness and just to fulfil the human function to stay alive which is cool too. The bottom line is, I love food and I love people who give me food.
Foodies undergo many issues each and every day and remember a rumbling stomach equates to a breaking heart.
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